Trust

I have to express a few opinions, or my philosophy, on a certain thing called "trust."

First of all, people have some people they believe they can trust with anything, sometimes even the deepest, darkest secrets. However, I don't believe so. I don't think ANYONE should be trusted with information. Some people, and by "some" I mean "in a very rare occurrence," can be trusted. Because here is my philosophy on this: you don't trust those that you tell things to, you trust whoever they tell it to. For example, you tell your best friend a secret, and he tells 4 or 5 of his friends, but they do not speak a word of it. This I have learned from personal experiences. How? Well, I'm one of those persons that are told things, and don't speak of them; I'm the person the so-called "trusted one" tells. Since I do not speak of what I am told, the "trusted one" seems like a trustworthy individual when truly he or she is not; I am.

Next philosophy is that of one that Lawrence Lief has said once before: "Those you trust the most can steal the most." Those that you let get close to you and trust can sometimes take away from you. One example I can think about to describe this at the moment is when you let your bestfriend hang with your girlfriend (believing he would never do anything he shouldn't) and finding out after that they are sleeping together. Also, another example, is one in which you do anything for your best friend, help him out with anything, trusting that he would repay you some how, and then betraying you and leaving you after you did everything he needed. Also, that quote can be interpreted in many other ways, but I will let you discover the others.

Against Me

This was another poem I wrote months back. I was in a very deep state of depression when I wrote this. Well, here it is:

"Against Me"

It feels like the World is Against me;
Stopping me and Ruining me - not letting me Be.
The Betrayal of Loved ones - and "Friends,"
Looking forward - Now - to when this life comes to an End.

Losing faith and Trust of People - one after Another.
Losing the honesty and Love of a Significant other.
Why - Now - Does this occur - is something a Mist?
And I Wonder - if gone - will I ever be Missed.

I've grown sick and Tired - So Very tired
Of the Life that I live - all that Transpired.
I have no One to help me - by my Side.
No point to live Anymore - only choice - is Suicide.

Gone And Back Again

This is a poem that I wrote a couple of months back, and I just thought about putting it up. Hope you like it:

"Gone & Back Again"

She Returned - as if She never left;
Thought she was Gone - Taken by Death.
But all this Time, she was always around;
The only difference - I never heard a Sound

She speaks - as All is Fine and everything is the Same,
But Truth reveals - it isn't and I'm the one to Blame.
When revealed - the feelings of my Love
Came her disappearance - like she went up Above.

Reality - she remained on Earth.
Our friendship - now seems like a New Birth.
So long ago - it now feels like the Beginning.
How long - Again - before another Erupt Ending -

I've Been Living My Life The Wrong Way

I have always been that good friend, or at least I felt I was; the one that would do anything for anybody, and everybody. I would help if you need it financially, or even if it's when you need a shoulder to lean on. I have always been there. May it be to pick them up when they fall, or to fall right down with them. I love my friends. I would never want to see them hurt. They have made me into the man that I am today. Without them, I don't know what I would do.

.....And then I started to think.

As I sat in my room in the middle of the night, I pondered on every single episode that I have helped my closest friends. I have done all in my ability that I could have done for them. May it just been a talk when they were down to helping out with relationship problems; I was there for them. And they were there for me...or at least I thought.

Since the summer, and the starting of college, I learned things about those that I would have called my "best friends" that I have never known. There have been lies, truths revealed, deceit. I never thought to find these things among these friends. And now, after everything I have ever done... I'm hurt.

It's like these whole time I was just being used. They've been looking out for themselves, using me to get them to the peak of the mountain, and once they got there, they don't need me anymore. They've gotten what they needed and more. And after going through everything I have, see what these people are, I've reached a decision; a decision that will affect everything I do from here on out; one that will change THIS person that everyone has known. That decision is...

... I'm going to be just like them. Live for myself, only for myself, and trust no living creature.

It's not only them; I've seen it everywhere. People will do anything. For now on, no more helping out people. People are on their own, as it looks like I have always been. Welcome to a world where you are born alone, and you will die alone. To succeed in life, you must rely on yourself. When you fall down in the real world, no one will be there to help you up; you have to do it yourself. People will strive to get what they want, even if it means stepping all over those that have helped them get that far; even if it means stabbing them in the back. That will be me.

Actually... No.

I still have some morality in me. I will do things alone, and never take advantage as these people do others. I will feel wrong to step over someone who helped me get to where I am. I'm living for myself now.

(And to those that did what you did to me..... I hope that it was all worth it. But remember, when you fall from the peak, I won't be there to catch you. I helped you get there; you did not get there alone, so it was easy. But now that I'm gone, will you still stay standing tall, or will you have a long, hard trip down? Can you get back up?)

Entry Into The Heart And Soul Of A Man Nobody Knew

Why the title?

Because nobody really knows who I truly am. You may think you know me, but you don't. As long as you may know me, you will perhaps never understand who I am; what I am; how I am the way I am. But, this is the purpose of starting this site. To show the other side of me that no one has ever seen, or probably never expected from me:

My thoughts;
My feelings;
My theories;
My philosophical views;
My heart and my soul.