I've Been Living My Life The Wrong Way

I have always been that good friend, or at least I felt I was; the one that would do anything for anybody, and everybody. I would help if you need it financially, or even if it's when you need a shoulder to lean on. I have always been there. May it be to pick them up when they fall, or to fall right down with them. I love my friends. I would never want to see them hurt. They have made me into the man that I am today. Without them, I don't know what I would do.

.....And then I started to think.

As I sat in my room in the middle of the night, I pondered on every single episode that I have helped my closest friends. I have done all in my ability that I could have done for them. May it just been a talk when they were down to helping out with relationship problems; I was there for them. And they were there for me...or at least I thought.

Since the summer, and the starting of college, I learned things about those that I would have called my "best friends" that I have never known. There have been lies, truths revealed, deceit. I never thought to find these things among these friends. And now, after everything I have ever done... I'm hurt.

It's like these whole time I was just being used. They've been looking out for themselves, using me to get them to the peak of the mountain, and once they got there, they don't need me anymore. They've gotten what they needed and more. And after going through everything I have, see what these people are, I've reached a decision; a decision that will affect everything I do from here on out; one that will change THIS person that everyone has known. That decision is...

... I'm going to be just like them. Live for myself, only for myself, and trust no living creature.

It's not only them; I've seen it everywhere. People will do anything. For now on, no more helping out people. People are on their own, as it looks like I have always been. Welcome to a world where you are born alone, and you will die alone. To succeed in life, you must rely on yourself. When you fall down in the real world, no one will be there to help you up; you have to do it yourself. People will strive to get what they want, even if it means stepping all over those that have helped them get that far; even if it means stabbing them in the back. That will be me.

Actually... No.

I still have some morality in me. I will do things alone, and never take advantage as these people do others. I will feel wrong to step over someone who helped me get to where I am. I'm living for myself now.

(And to those that did what you did to me..... I hope that it was all worth it. But remember, when you fall from the peak, I won't be there to catch you. I helped you get there; you did not get there alone, so it was easy. But now that I'm gone, will you still stay standing tall, or will you have a long, hard trip down? Can you get back up?)